I've copied my post from our Caringbridge site. I wasn't going to, but just maybe somehow our story can be helpful to someone else... if you have no idea what I'm referring to, our site was
www.caringbridge.org/visit/monicamanginSUNDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2007 10:35 PM, CDT
2 years... Tomorrow is Jackson and Carter's second birthday and anniversary of going to be with the Lord. It's different this year. Last year we just couldn't believe that a whole year had passed and that we'd made it through. This year is different because I just can't help but think what two little toddlers running around would be like... If you know me well, you know I'm a big birthday party planner and as I've been getting ready for Kaden's 3rd birthday party which is next Saturday, I just keep thinking of what it would be like to have been able to plan even just one party for Jackson and Carter. Last year Kenzie asked me if we could make them a cake on their birthday, so we did, but I'm not too sure what tomorrow will bring.
I think God has given me a really special gift in Makenzie and her remembrance of her brothers... She talks about them all the time and is always including them in her drawings of our family etc. We really did not talk to her too much about Jackson and Carter after they were born, we just explained that they were too small and that they went to be with Jesus, but she has never forgotten them. Sometimes when I feel like no one remembers (and I know they do, I just sometimes feel that way) she is always making some comment about them and it is amazing how a talkative little 5 1/2 year old can be such a source of encouragement to me. So, I truly belive that God has given her such a vivid grasp of her brothers so that she can lift my spirits and remind me that at least she is thinking of them.
We feel so blessed by Kira joining our family and we love her so much, so we are just trying to be thankful for the wonderful family that God has given us to enjoy here on earth, and we wait with anticipation for the day that we will be united with our other children and will be able to hold them in our arms again.
Below are the words to a song that we sing at church... It's one that I have a hard time getting through without lots of tears, most times I have to leave the sanctuary because I'm not a public emotion kind of person, but the words are something that I truly believe and something that I am still striving to make true everyday of my life, not just the easy days. "Some days I can say, Blessed Be Your Name" and other days my eyes are too focused on life here on earth (or under the sun, as we've been talking about at church) and I can't get myself to utter those words, but deep in my heart I know that God can see so much more than my little earthly perspective and he knows what he's doing, so I say, "You give and take away. You give and take away. My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name"
Blessed Be Your Name
by Matt Redman
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord,blessed be Your name
